A temple, a palace, a massage, and a sorry goodbye

The Grand Palace

On the way home.  We’ve got a 5 hr layover in Frankfurt- a long stretch after an 11 hr flight, but not enough time to go out into the city, so the girls are catching up in their travel books and I’m finishing up each of the last 5 or so blog posts that I began but never finished.  In Ireland I had the time and energy to write for a couple of hours most nights.  In Thailand I was so exhausted at the end of each day I barely had the energy to brush my teeth- a sign that we didn’t waste a minute, and I don’t regret it!  But I also don’t want to forget what we experienced, so I’m finishing the posts now, even though it’s so far after the fact.  I’m going to post them in order, as if I wrote them in order, so I suppose you are reading this post last and have had no idea I was tricky and wrote it before many of the preceding entries.  Sneaky, sneaky.

    Our flight didn’t leave until 11:30pm last night, so we had a full last day in Bangkok with Bonnye and Greg and it was pretty much perfect.  We got up early (extra early, in fact, since Michael, or, rather, Siri, as he insists, didn’t cancel the early alarm that had been previously set.), got ourselves ready, and walked to breakfast. 

After breakfast, we took our first tuk-tuk ride, and a good thing, too.  Tuk-tuks are one of the primary modes of transportation in Bangkok, and it would have been flat out shameful if we came home never having ridden one.

We headed out to a Hindu temple that Greg and Bonnye said was worth visiting, if for no other reason than because it was so different from the other temples we’d seen.  

flowers for offerings, sold right outside the temple

The temple is dedicated to Uma, consort of Shiva.  It was beautiful, fascinating, and pretty much encapsulated one of the defining dynamics (for me) of this whole trip- being simultaneously drawn in by what I was witnessing and experiencing and kept out by virtue of the fact that: a) I was a foreigner and non-native speaker, b)usually an observer and not a true participant (even if I was technically participating), and c) had no way to make sense of what I was witnessing.  In Ireland my ability to pick up on cues, both verbal and non-verbal, helped me to quickly figure out what was going on.  In Thailand, that same ability only confirmed and deepened my realization that I had no context within which to place my experiences and no way to make meaning out of any of it. 

 We happened to time our visit to the temple, which is open to tourists, with some type of prayer ceremony.  They appeared to be blessing the statues of the various deities with prayers and incense and also blessing individuals.  It was absolutely fascinating to witness and renewed my appreciation for embodied religious rites- practices that engage not only the mind with words but also the body with smells and sights and rhythm and music.  

    Tess had less patience with not understanding what was going on and lost interest pretty quickly, So we slipped out of the inner temple and prepared to leave.  But then I decided to buy a picture of Shiva and Uma.  I thought I’d pay and go.  But for reasons I don’t understand, they insisted that the picture must be blessed.  (We noticed that the statues in nearby shops were also dabbed with the red paste). 

So back into the inner temple I went, where one of the priests put a dab of red paste on the picture…..and my forehead.  Then out I was sent.  So…….now what do I do?  One the one hand, I’ve just received some type of blessing from someone charged with such work- a sacred gift.  On the other, I looked a bit like Julia Roberts in “Eat, Pray, Love” – a non-Hindu Westerner with a Hindu mark on my head.  Should I leave it?  Remove it?  Which was most appropriate?  Less insulting?  I decided to leave it until about half way through the day when, having sweat most of it off, my brother said I just looked like I was bleeding.  Off it came. 

A shawl wasn't good enough here, so I had to buy a T-shirt.  I was told that, translated from the Thai, it reads something like "smile at the King until his death" I'm pretty sure that isn't intended to sound as grim as it does.

After the temple, we headed off the Grand Palace which was, in fact, very, very grand.  We wandered around admiring the complex, which is huge and gorgeous. 

As with Wat Pho, the geometry of the space was different- all points and spires.

Many of the structures were covered in gold leaf and mosaics made of millions of pieces of various colored mirrors.

I literally cannot imagine the time and energy it took to create such a space.

 While at the palace we went to see the Emerald Buddha, one of the most sacred Buddha figures in Thailand.  We weren't allowed to take photos, though. (The photo above has nothing whatsoever to do with the Emerald Buddha. But aren't those guys great?)

Running along the wall surrounding part of the palace complex was a mural- an enormously long and incredible mural, depicting the Ramakien, the Thai version of the Ramayana- a Hindu epic tale.

The Ramayana (and the Ramakien)  isn’t considered a sacred text, but it holds a very powerful place culturally- particularly in India, but apparently in Thailand, as well.

After a couple of hours of absolutely flooding our senses at the palace, we took a breather and ate our last lunch in Thailand. 

 But we still had hours before we had to pack!!  So, we headed out to one last market to wander for a few hours and take in the sheer, wonderful chaos of it all: the fruit and food carts, the endless stalls of everything and anything you might want to buy, the crowds of people barely parting for the motorcycles and cars pushing through, and the fine art of haggling over prices (never got a hang of that one).

 Finally, to top off the day, we all lined up for a foot massage and then headed back to the apartment through the lights of Bangkok at night.

And with some quick packing and very sorry goodbyes to Greg and Bonnye, who were so fun to spend time with and such great hosts, we headed back to the cold and the snow, but also our friends and our home, choc-full of new experiences, incredible memories, and really, really good food.

Within a few days, we might even be over our jet-lag induced fog to think back on it all coherently. 
    For now, I'll simply end by saying that this was a trip of a lifetime- beautiful, joyful, nourishing, inspiring, provokative, and a wee bit exhausting, as it should have been, and I'm grateful for it all.

Ayutthaya and grown-ups' night out

    On Friday Greg and Bonnye had to work, so we hired a driver (yet another thing we would never do in the US that is supremely affordable here) for the day to take us out to Ayutthaya (Ah-you-dee-ah), the former capitol of Thailand.  The “Seat of Kings,” as it has been called, the city is full of the ruins of wats (temples) and palaces.  A couple key places aside, we couldn’t even begin to decide which sites to visit.  To our grateful surprise, however, our driver essentially chose for us, simply taking us to places he thought we should see.  Fantastic.

    We started at the Bang Pa-in Palace.  This palace isn't actually a ruin or in Ayutthaya proper.  It is a summer palace first built in the 17^th century by King Prasart Thong on an island in the Chao Phraya River.  Local gossip says…er, I mean a contemporary Dutch merchant reported,  that the king was the illegitimate son of King Ekathotsaraot  and a woman he befriended when he was shipwrecked on Bang Pa-in Island.  Whatever the truth, the palace fell into disrepair after Ayutthaya fell to the Burmese, and was then restored. It is currently used by the King and Queen as an occasional residence and location for banquets. 

As with a few of the more important wats and the Grand Palace, there is a dress code for visitors. Women must wear long skirts and have their shoulders covered.  Since we weren’t expecting to visit a working palace I wasn’t dressed appropriately. Luckily, all such sites are well stocked with clothing you can borrow during your visit. 

The palace and grounds were beautiful- impeccably cared for and extremely ornate.  No austerity here!

  As with the ruins in Isan, we were surrounded by school children who swarmed around Kaia and Tessa.  Poor girls- they eventually started running away from school groups because they couldn’t take it any more. 

    After Bang Pa-in Palace, we headed to Wat Phra Chao Phya-thai, The Temple of the Supreme Patriarch (commonly known as Wat Yai Chai-mongkol and previously known as Wat Pa Kaeo). [Note: Virtually all the history of the wats I share in this post comes from the writing of Chaiwat Worachetwarawat] This monastery was built by King U-Thong in 1357.  

In 1592, King Naresuen led an army against the Burmese, who were trying to take over Ayutthaya.  The king defeated the Burmese but did not inflict the losses he wanted to because backup troops didn’t arrive in time.  

Despite his victory, the king wanted to execute the officers in charge of those troops. Their lives were spared only when the Patriarch intervened and begged the king to build a monument to his victory instead.  Religion working for the good.  Hooray! 

Part of these ruins include a large, outdoor reclining Buddha.  For a small donation, you may light incense, pray, and apply a small patch of gold leaf to the Buddha, which both Kai and Tess did.

 

    After a quick lunch we headed over to our last site for the day, Wat Mahathat.  Construction on the wat began in 1373. 

 When the Burmese sacked Ayutthaya in 1767, the wat was burned and left as ruins. 

     Perhaps the most famous image from Wat Mahathat is a Bodhi tree that has grown completely around a Buddha’s head.  While you are allowed to photograph the head, out of  respect you must stand (or squat) below its level.

Images of the head are usually close ups, so I expected the head to be larger.  Regardless of size, it was still pretty incredible to see.

  And, shot of the trip- Kai, Tess, and Michael posing with a monk…because he wanted a photo with the girls.

    After Wat Mahathat, we headed to our last stop for the day- an elephant ride.  I had promised the girls they could ride an elephant as soon as we found out we were going to Thailand.  Their cousin had ridden, their aunt and uncle had ridden, their grandparents had ridden.  And really, who wouldn’t want to ride an elephant?  But then I found out that many elephants are basically tortured into submission and lead horrible lives.  Suddenly I was in a no-win situation.  Break a promise to the girls (a promise they had confirmed about a dozen times) or engage in animal abuse. 

Great. 

    So I did some research to see if I could find a place where the elephant were treated humanely. I was pretty sure I had succeeded with a place in Ayutthaya that was an elephant sanctuary committed to rescuing animals. 

    My worry returned as soon as we arrived.  I had no idea what a miserable elephant vs a happy elephant looked like.  The elephants didn’t look wounded or in pain.  They were eating, so I knew they weren’t starved the way they are in some places. But it was crowded and there was trash around, so it didn’t feel great.  After some pretty intense internal moral debate, we decided to let the girls ride.  The mahouts treated the elephants kindly during the ride, letting them stop to eat and visit with each other and never using anything other than pressure on the elephants ears to guide them, which appeased my worry somewhat.  But as I told Michael after, I thought that, if I believed in hell (which I don’t), this ride might have been the thing to condemn me.  I felt much better later when I described the scene to Bonnye and Greg and, after asking a series of questions, they said that it actually didn’t sound bad.  I’m still processing, though, that whole internal moral debate and what it means to make a choice when there is no good choice to make. 

    As for the girls, they absolutely loved it and I’m grateful at least for that. 

    That night, a neighbor’s nanny babysat the girls and Michael, Greg, Bonnye and I had a grown-up night out at a restaurant where a) the food was absurdly fantastic and b) it looked like a movie set (Casablanca, maybe?) inside and a fairy garden outside.  I’m serious.  My yard will look like that someday.   It was dining at its best, and the company was excellent. It has been excellent spending real time with Greg and Bonnye.   

    Then we went to the red light district.  Yes, that red light district.  Strangely enough, it’s a tourist thing in Bangkok and Greg and Bonnye said it was great people watching.  So off we went.  And again, it wasn’t anything like I expected. 

    I’ll tell you what, there is nothing like a trip to someplace radically different from your familiar context and comfort zone to call into question every assumption, expectation, belief, interpretation and mind-set that you hold. I literally didn’t know what to make of it: the blatant sex for sale, the people casually wandering the street as if it wasn’t the most bizarre place in the world, and most of all the women, chatting with each other, laughing with their friends, wandering arm in arm, just…..selling themselves.  I've never held prostitution to be a "sinful" job but I did think of it as a job of desperation- one more way women without options were exploited. (Human trafficking is another issue altogether, of course.  That's not just sinful but also criminal.)   I expected it to be seedy and sad and creepy, and it was cheerful and fun, though also, as you can probably tell, disconcerting and thought provoking. 

    Between the elephants and the pervasive poverty and the prostitution and being an outsider blatantly observing another culture and people and…..everything else, I feel like I need a month or nine just to process and reset my moral compass and re-build my meaning making framework.  Which is, I suppose, one of the purposes of a trip such as this one.  I surely have been stretched and challenged and made uncomfortable and filled with awe and wonder and appreciation and gratitude. 

    All in two weeks.  Thailand does not mess around. 

Snorkeling, or how not to meet a sea urchin

Tessa learning to snorkel

Yesterday was a travel day, as we made our way back to Bangkok.  The day before, however, we took the girls snorkeling for the first time.

  The day started out perfect.  A gentle wake up, breakfast in the outdoor restaurant,and a beautiful ride out on a longtail to the first of the 4 islands we were going to visit that day.

We arrived at the first site, abutting one of the limestone formations jutting out of the water (karsts), at which point it got a bit more challenging, as we couldn't get the gear- adult sizes only- to stay on Kaia's head.
As we struggled to get the mask to stay on, Greg went off to explore.  He took some amazing underwater photos.

Look closely at this one and you can see one of those super spiny sea urchins that normal people only see in an aquarium.  Lucky Greg got up close and personal. By which I mean not only did he take this photo of one close up, but then, as he was turning for another shot, he accidentally kicked one with the top of his foot.

Hard.

  We learned of that unfortunate kick when Greg came rushing back to the boat, his foot bristling with fragments of sea urchin spines.  Now Greg does an excellent job of not making a show of intense pain so as not to freak out the girls (he had previous practice when, the day before and 5 minutes after getting in the water after our 21 hr trip, he got stung by a jelly fish), but the spines were still sticking out of his foot.

Greg, removing spines.

  As he tried to pick the spines out of his foot he asked the boat captain if he had any vinegar- that being the solution offered for the jellyfish sting the day before.  Though the captain spoke very little English, he disappeared and returned with a water bottle filled with yellow liquid that he poured over Greg’s foot.  Greg asked what it was.  Now ask yourself what would happen next if this were a sit-com episode.

Yep.  That’s what happened.

The captain smiled and said, “Pee.”

“Pee?”  Greg confirmed.

“Yeah.  Pee!”

What is there to do but laugh at that point?

So we laughed.  Though if it had been me with spines in my foot, I may not have laughed quite as hard as Greg did.

Greg didn’t want to go back, so we went on to the next island and into an inner lagoon.  This place was something out of a movie set- a narrow entrance draped with trees and plants, 

towering limestone cliffs, 

mangrove trees reaching up on tiptoe,

 dozens of starfish...it was stunning.

 

  We waded around for a bit and then headed to the last site of the day- one more island, with a sandy beach for the girls and plenty of rocks and fish for Michael and I.

Two different ways to experience Thailand.  They brought porters with them.

 We never did get past struggling with the gear for Kai.  Greg eventually lent us his mask, which worked much better, so she got a chance to snorkel, but it was still a challenge.  Those photos are on another camera, so they'll have to wait.  

    

Finally, after a long full day of sun, sand, water, fish, and....pee, we headed back to Koh Yao Yai for some dinner, some aloe (oh, poor Maine winter skin in Thailand's sun), some dinner, and a bit more relaxing in our small corner of paradise.